Where’s My Card That Reads I Support You?

By Barbara Collura, Executive Director, RESOLVE

It’s started! The sappy commercials of the sweet mom reading a Mother’s Day card from her daughter. The screen shows a “Leave It To Beaver” house, yard and family. What could be more perfect than to receive a card from your child on this one special day that celebrates motherhood? Unfortunately, this is not reality. Each of us is suffering silently with this disease called infertility. So, now what do I do? Here a few coping strategies from your RESOLVE family.

• Give yourself permission to cry and be angry.
  Don't try to shut off your feelings. If you need to cry about the unfairness of one more pregnancy announcement, go ahead. If you need to pound a pillow or pummel a punching bag, do it. When you try to "snap out of it," you waste all your energy.
• Give your spouse/partner permission to feel and cope differently than you.
  If you're a gal,  don't waste energy trying to get your partner to feel as devastated as you do. If you're a guy, don't try to get your partner to be "more like a man," forgetting about infertility except when she's at the doctor's office or in the bedroom.
• Improve your communication about infertility.
  You might try what I call "The Twenty Minute Rule," which forces you to limit the amount of time you talk about infertility in a given evening.
• And, most importantly, use RESOLVE’s resources online, through our support groups and at our local events. We are here to support you all the time. Visit www.resolve.org for resources.

On this Mother’s Day, RESOLVE is here as your support system and to help you on your family building path. Happy Support Day!